Americans tend to avoid speaking or even thinking about death, and that lack of communication makes the natural processes of dying and grieving far more difficult for everyone involved. The International End of Life Doula Association (INELDA), which advocates a new approach to support the dying and their families, will offer end-of-life doula training to the public September 18-20 in Secaucus, NJ.

“When a person receives a terminal diagnosis, everyone tries to hide the truth beneath a cloak of hope,” says INELDA President Henry Fersko-Weiss. “The collective fear is so strong, the defenses so well maintained, that even in the face of obvious disease progression and functional decline, people continue to cling to denial. They focus on symptom management, staying positive, and a heroic attempt to keep life ‘normal.’” Avoiding the underlying truth leads to superficial, blunted interactions between dying people and their loved ones, Fersko-Weiss says. Opportunities to explore the meaning of a life go unaddressed, emotions go unexpressed, and wishes go unfulfilled. “Dying becomes an unrelenting downward spiral of anxiety and exhaustion,” he says. “In the end, the experience leaves the family broken and suffering.”

End-of-life doulas are trained to help dying people and their loved ones create life legacies, incorporate the sacred into their experience and use guided imagery, ritual, touch and music to bring deeper meaning and greater comfort to the dying process, Fersko-Weiss says. INELDA teaches and certifies people to become doulas to the dying, and it helps hospices create doula programs based on this new model of care.

To learn more or register for training, visit INELDA.org or http://bit.ly/1Qa2vqT .